The Tale of the Enchanted Dentyne Gum
by ImmaStartARiot
Summary: Just for the record, I hate Dentyne gum. I'm more of a Chiclets person.


"_You know that I'm a crazy mmmm! I do what I want when I feel like it! All I wanna do is lose control, oh oh! But you don't really give a mmmm, you go with it, go with it, go with it…cuz you're mm-mm crazy, rock n' roll!"_

Marissa and I decided to be nice and take Mikey to the pet store at the mall to buy him a new fish. But next thing I know, we're all singing random songs. It started with Mikey singing, _"Baby, baby, here we are akk crazy, you don't have to worry, naaa na na naaa na."_

Marissa went all OVERPROTECTIVE BIG SISTER on him like, "Stop listening to 3Oh!3, Mikey! They're a bad influence!"

He just blinked up at her innocently and said, "Well, Sammy's the one who showed me the band…"

Epic fail moment.

I'd been ratted out.

So she huffed out, "If you're gonna sing Alice in Wonderland songs, you might as well sing Alice or Mad As Rabbits instead."

She then proceeded to sing Alice at the top of her lungs so I started singing Smile by Avril Lavigne. But I substituted some of the curse words with humming because of Mikey.

Two male voices from behind us picked up where I had left off.

"_You-oooh said 'Hey, what's your name?' It took one look and now I'm not the same. Yeah you said hey , and since that day, you stole my heart and you're the one to blame. And that's whhhhhyyyyyyyyy I smillleeee,"_

At that point, I had turned around to muffle their voices. That line was way too high for them and I don't want Mikey scarred for life.

"Casey. Billy. I'd let you sing, but then I would have to kill you."

Billy's eyes sparkled with mischief and he licked my hand. I pulled my hand away, but I kept the other one on Casey's mouth.

"Jeez, Billy. Go lick Marissa and give _her _your cooties."

He winked at Marissa and said, "Maybe I will. Besides, I'm sure you've gotten your share of cooties from Casey."

Marissa blushed and shot me a look. "Are you trying to suffocate Casey or something?" She was referring to the hand I kept over his mouth.

As if on cue, Casey kissed the palm of my hand and I snatched it away. Not that I was embarrassed or something. I mean, we've been dating for three years. And so have our parents. Maybe that's why he was acting so distant lately. I just feel that maybe he'd be happier with someone else.

Anyone else.

Maybe that girl in his theater group.

Or that girl that buys him lunch every day.

Or the girl that's his peer guidance counselor.

I had asked Marissa once if I should break up with him.

She didn't react well to that. She blew a fuse, yelling, "SAMANTHA KEYES, I FORBID YOU TO DO SUCH A PREPOSTEROUS THING."

So right now she was watching me like a hawk.

Casey's face fell when I snatched my hand away, but he quickly recovered and grabbed my hand, holding on tight. "So," he said trying to dissipate the awkward moment. "Where are you guys going?"

Mikey beamed and answered, "I'm getting new fish!"

Casey shot me a wary look and asked, "Mind if we tag along?"

Ha. Marissa would make me one of the walking dead if I said they couldn't come. "Vamanos, mi amigos," I said with the worst Spanish accent I could muster. "Huh. And to think I'm failing Spanish."

Mikey did most of the talking on the way to the pet shop. Marissa was talking to Billy privately about something off to the side. Probably about me thinking about breaking up with Casey.

It's been a long time since Mikey was the annoying little kid he used to be. He's more mature and sweeter, but one thing that hasn't changed is that he loves his fish. "So there's this girl I reeeaaally like. Her name is Lucy. Lucy Urbanski."

My eyes widened. "Danny Urbanski's little sister? Dude, you're totally screwed. Danny and your sister hate each other. They'll go ballistic if you go out with Lucy."

He sighs. "I know. But I don't care. I think she likes me too, but it's hard to tell sometimes."

"I hear ya, bro," Casey said.

Jerk…

He continues, "But you know what? Sometimes, it's worth the drama."

I eyed him and asked, "Sometimes?"

He gave me this big toothy grin and leaned closer to whisper, "You're always worth it."

I blushed and Mikey looked up at me to ask, "Sammy? What did Casey do to win you over?"

I think carefully and rack my brain to figure out what was it that made me give in to Cupid. "He was…himself."

Mikey goes on about Lucy until Billy pipes up with, "Anyone up for a pit stop? I've got the bladder of a condor named Marvin."

Casey rolls his eyes and goes in with him and Mikey. Huh.

And I thought that girls were weird with their bathroom tag-alongs.

As soon as they disappear through the door, Marissa turned to me and said, "You can't break up with Casey."

I raised an eyebrow. "And why not? All I'm doing is keeping him down."

Her looked was pained and panicked. "He loves you. And you love him. Me and Billy refuse to let you break up."

"He's never told me he loves me," I whispered. "And he could have better."

Marissa scoffed. "Better than the infamous Sammy Keyes? I think not! If you're referring to that slut who walked up to Casey and attacked him with her lips, don't worry about it! You saw him shove her off and tell her to go screw herself!"

"He could have anyone he wanted!"

"That's why he's with you! Me and Billy will prove that you two belong with each other."

"How?" I challenged.

Her face fell. "I don't know yet…"

The boys came out from the bathroom and the look on Billy's face told me he didn't know what to do either. Casey was…shit, his face was blank. Wiped free of any emotion.

Mikey just looked relieved. I think the kid seriously needed to pee.

"Let's go, guys," Casey said in a hoarse voice. There was a brown paper towel wrapped around his knuckles on his right hand. He noticed me looking at his hand and said, "I accidentally punched a mirror."

"How do you accidentally punch a-"

"I don't know."

Billy told him.

Casey stared straight ahead and no one spoke until Casey took out a pack of gum. Mikey's eyes perked up and he asked, "Can I have a piece?"

Casey shrugged and gave him a piece of the gum. Billy got a weird look on his face, as if an idea hit him. Mikey popped the gum into his mouth and started chewing, but after a few seconds he started panting. "Water! Water!" He ran like a mothertrucker to the water fountain. He finished hosing off his mouth and asked, "WHAT KIND OF GUM WAS THAT?"

"Dentyne…" Of course it is. He's been chewing that gum for years.

"But that gum burrrrnnnssss."

Billy jumps ahead of us and waves his hands around. "Mikey m'boy! Would you like to hear the story of why Casey only chews Dentyne gum? I guarantee you will find an answer to your own girl troubles in this tale!"

Mikey isn't used to his shenanigans and says okay, quite enthusiastically.

Big mistake.

"**The Tale of the Enchanted Dentyne Gum**

**As told by Billy Pratt to his dearest friends while sitting down in the food court**

_Prince Casey had everything he could ever want. He had the looks, the girls, not that he cared or sent some of them towards his best friend's way *cough*. He was happy with not a blemish in his life, besides his evil sister. _

_Her name was SORCERESS HEATHER. BUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA_

_But everyone except Casey called her Master._

_One day, there was a peasant girl named Sammy who refused to let Master bully people out of their money. (_Silence, Peasant Sammy. You are a peasant in my story and that is that_.)_

_So Master threw lightning bolts at Peasant Sammy, but Sammy was too tough. The bolts kinda stung, so she was super pissed off and threw a table at her face which broke off her wart infested nose._

_Prince Casey watched it all unfold before his eyes. He was impressed how someone finally stood up to Master. So for the next few months, he watched her. _

_Stalked her._

_Bided his time._

_He hoped she would notice him._

_But she didn't even know he existed._

_Serves him right for being such a stalker, which the fabulous Billy Pratt told him not to do. But he wasn't discouraged. He still kept careful watch of her. The Eve of the New Year brought new chances for him. The day of the New Year Ball, Prince Casey and his court of crooked friends were riding their horses to go prepare for the ball. _

_Peasant Sammy were riding horses as well to Peasant Dot's hut. But Sammy's horse had been stolen so she was sharing one with Princess Marissa's. this horse was very rambunctious and threw Sammy through the air onto Sir Snake the Dipwad. Prince Casey had to laugh at the irony, since his resolution of the new year was for Peasant Sammy to fall for him._

_The laughter attracted the attention of Sammy and she turned to glare at him. Bujt he didn't cvare. Because this was going to be his year._

_Peasant and Snake argued about the ownership of their horses and Prince got a bit…jealous. Snake didn't want Sammy's attention, Casey did. _

_At the ball, Prince saw Peasant with her friends looking very out of place. And she looked like she was about to get into a duel with Master._

_Prince banished Master to THE ROOM OF NO RETURN. He began to try talking to Peasant, but she was totally clueless about his stalker love and said that she was only there to retrieve her horse. _

_So basically, Prince Casey was unintentionally PWND._

_But he wanted to be around her so he was all, "I SHALL ASSIST YOU IN YOUR MISSION TO RETRIEVE YOUR HORSE TO THE BEST OF MY ABILITY." (_Shut up, Casey, you totally said that_.) _

_He tries to hold her hand, but she was all, "Hold the fuck up. Wat are you doing stawp this."_

_Then he accidentally said, "Yo I fancy you." Inside he was all, "FMLLLLLLLL UGH WHATS WRONG WITH ME."_

_Sammy left all too soon and almost immediately after she did, the constable arrived and crashed the ball. Master yelled at Prince that Peasant sent them because she was jealous of Master's supposed epicness._

_Casey refused to believe it. He worked like hell to get Sammy's horse back and when he did, he went to where she was staying and saw her speaking to the constable._

_He felt betrayed. He couldn't believe Sammy sold him out, he thought what they had was special. He thought he meant nothing to her and rode off in a huff. But later he found out that the castle next door had called the Calvary and felt like a complete dick. Sammy came over to his castle to explain that she didn't sell him out, but all Casey could think was "SHEEEE CARESSSSSSS YESSSSS."_

_Everything was going so well until he invited her inside where Heather was. Sammy was like totes shocked. She had nooooo ideaaaaa that Prince and Master were related like LOLWUT?_

_So she totally ditches and runs off, but unknown to her he follows. _

_And like a total STALKER, he listened to what she told her friends through the window. He was kinda hurt when she basically said, "WE ARE NEVER EVER EVER GETTING TOGETHER. LIKE EVER. I WILL NEVER BE RELATED TO HEATHER THROUGH HIM, WHATS WRONG WITH YOU GUYS?"_

_So he leaves her alone._

_Temporarily._

_But when Sorceress Heather (no longer Master) got Sorcerer Vince to believe that Peasant Sammy and Princess Marissa vandalized a sector of the kingdom, banning them from the traditional games, he came to her rescue and convinced Nobleman Caan of their innocence._

_One day, Peasant and Princess went to the Faire and coincidentally, Prince was making a fool of himself onstage singing about alcohol poisoning. He hoped she wouldn't think any less of him, but she seemed more embarrassed when he kissed her hand. _

_It was innocent._

_But he was in the clouds over it._

_He kept rambling about how her skin was soft and smelled of lavender and oatmeal. _

_When he received a fake note from her asking to meet up, he was over the moon. Then he saw erm…someone making an honest mistake of kissing Peasant for a dare by Sorceress. _

_His heart was broken._

_But then Sammy sent a message that she was set up by Sorceress. Sorceress got what was coming to her when the person she tricked into kissing Peasant, kissed Sorceress in front of everyone and identified her as a slimy, rotten codfish._

_On the anniversary of Peasant's date of birth, there was a big blow up at an eating facility when Sorceress discovered that she shared the same birthday with Peasant while Prince sat there grinning at how Peasant didn't even need to do anything to ruin Sorceress' day. Buahaha. _

_Prince Casey felt that Sammy deserved something for her birthday and when he came upon a horseshoe on the street, he thought that it would be the perfect gift for her._

_To his absolute delight, she loved his present and he practically floated home in bliss._

_This blossoming friendship between them encouraged him to ask her to the ball. He saw that she was nervous about everything and tried to make her feel more comfortable and she did as the night progressed. _

_He wanted to kiss her that night while they danced. She was just so beautiful and everything was going so well. But she looked uncomfortable and ready to bolt so he decided against it, singing to her instead as if they were good friends._

_He slept over at Billy's house that night and poured his heart and soul out to the guy, thinking he would keep it a secret forever. (_Quiet Casey, this is for your own good_.) _

_When Prince and his Court Fool were looking for camping supplies, they spotted Peasant and the Fool decided it would be fun to sneak up on her. _

_It wasn't._

_It was painful._

_Very painful._

_Her reflexes taught him to never ever ever sneak up on her. Like…ever._

_Prince was a bit devastated he wouldn't see Peasant for another few weeks, but then his luck changed and they found her in the blasted woods with the younger version of Jane Goodall. _

_Prince got to spend more time with her and he was all happy-happy. Even when she drooled all over his leg in her sleep, he found it cute._

_If that isn't love, then it's just creepy._

_Later that summer, Prince Brandon threw a soiree at the lake. So when Peasant Sammy saw Prince Casey all shirtless and whatnot, she melted at his sexiness, but apparently she didn't melt at Fool Billy's sexiness. Therefore, she must need glasses or something. (_I'M SEXY TOO DAMMIT._)_

_She saved Sorceress' life at that thing too, but no one cares so whatevs._

_When Prince was delivering a thank you letter from Sorceress, he saw that Peasant was dressed up as an old lady. He wanted to kiss her like sooo bad even though SHE WAS DRESSED AS AN OLD LADY LIKE ARE YOU SERIOUS._

_This dude was so desperate. _

_When he did finally kiss her, it was like a dream for him._

_She was dressed like a princess that night, but when she had changed into her peasant clothes, that was when he found her to be the most beautiful. _

_Because she was Sammy._

_Peasant Sammy didn't realize that she was all that Prince Casey had ever wanted and thought that maybe he wasn't as happy with her than she would be with anyone else._

_And even if he won't tell her, because he doesn't want to ruin anything by going too fast (_but seriously man, FOUR YEARS? GROW SOME BALLS._), he loves her. And he will always love her._

_The end._

"…what the hell did that have to do with Dentyne gum?" Mikey asked.

Billy waved it off saying, "He thought that the gum made her more attracted to him."

Casey's eye was twitching by the end of the story. "Billy…"

I interrupted, "Why was I the peasant? Seriously, Billy? How accurate is this damn story?"

"Well, I got most of the story from Casey and some of it from Marissa."

Well then. Life lesson: don't trust Marissa.

We finished up our Burger King in silence and then got to the pet store. While Billy and Marissa tagged along with Mikey to pick out some fish, Casey pulled me to the secluded part of the shop with the ferrets.

He avoided looking at me, settling for staring at his feet. He seemed embarrassed over Billy's story so I pulled him into a hug and he slowly wrapped his arms around my waist, burying his face into the crook of my neck. He pressed his lips to my throat, kissing me hard. "I love you," he said frantically. "Don't break up with me," he begged. "I-I love you. So much."

I didn't know what to say to that, but then I felt something wet drip down my neck. "Casey? Are you crying?"

"Yes," he sniffled. "You're my whole life, Sammy."

I rubbed his back soothingly and pulled away to wipe his tears. "Shhh, I love you, Case. I'm sorry about…erm-"

He interrupted me with a hard, passionate kiss on my lips. I could taste the minty tang of the Dentyne gum on his tongue and smiled into the kiss. When I pulled away, I said, "And the Dentyne gum wasn't it, you know."

**A/N: Wow another stupid story from me. I'm sorry. I wrote this after Wedding Crasher, but before Night of Skulls. Just saying. I thought I had already uploaded this *sob* Ha. You know whats funny? I just got my report card AND THE FREAKING NUN GAVE ME A BAD GRADE FOR COMPOSITION LIKE OKAY GO FUCK YOURSELF I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU. AGHHH.**

**Anyway, would you like a cookie for that review you're gonna write for me?**


End file.
